


Call her Lazarus

by fortytworedvines



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, Major Character Undeath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 17:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19835170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortytworedvines/pseuds/fortytworedvines
Summary: Bernie is forced to take drastic action to protect the people she loves.





	Call her Lazarus

Bernie’s hands trembled as she picked up the file and flicked through it. Pictures of her loved ones jumped out at her from every page. “So, if I don’t...” she looked at the two severe people opposite her.

The woman nodded. “It’s your funeral or theirs.”

The man passed her another file. “You’ll be given a new identity, a new career. You can do almost anything you want. As long as Bernie Wolfe stays dead.”

“I don’t understand,” Bernie said as she paused at a picture of Serena. Her fingers traced her face. “Why don’t they just kill me? Why threaten the people I love?”

The woman shrugged. “Who knows. It’s not up to us to ask why, it’s up to us to stop it happening.”

The two officials politely ignored the tear that rolled down Bernie’s face. “Serena,” she whispered and looked up, “I can’t have any contact?” her voice cracked.

“You can put letters in your will,” the man said.

“My will,” Bernie echoed. “Oh my god.”

* * *

Serena shut herself into her office, locked the door and closed the blinds before falling into her chair. _Bernie._ She smoothed the envelope, steeling herself to open it. Bernie’s last words to her. God, how could this be happening. How. She took a breath and slid her finger neatly under the flap, pulled out the enclosed sheets of paper. 

The ink danced before her eyes. Handwritten.

_My darling Serena_

The writing was splotched, as though Bernie had been crying when she wrote it. “No, no no,” Serena whispered, letting the paper slide out of her fingers onto her desk.

There was a knock at the door. “Go away,” she called harshly.

“Please, Serena,” a broken voice sounded. Cam. She stood slowly, opened the door, let him fall into her arms.

After Cam had left, given in, finally, to his grief and gone home, she picked up the letter again.

Phrases sprang out at her:

_You made me so happy_

_I will always love you_

_Look after yourself, please_

_Keep an eye on Cam for me_

With tears streaming down her face, she folded the letter back up, tucked it into the envelope and placed it safely in her desk. Right now, it was almost more than she could handle.

A week later, Alex Dawson turned up. Serena was working, had to be working, to keep herself from being overwhelmed, so Alex found her easily enough in AAU.

“Can we talk?” Alex asked and Serena led her to the office. Alex stared at her for a moment. “It’s nice to meet you at last, but I wish it was for a happier reason.”

“Yes,” Serena agreed hoarsely. “But why are you here, Alex?”

Alex rubbed her red-rimmed eyes. “Bernie asked me to look in on you. And she gave me something, a while back, to give to you. If… if… well, if this happened. Sit down.” She pulled Serena onto the sofa with her and retrieved a small box from her blazer pocket. She turned it over in her fingers a few times before holding it out to Serena.

“Alex,” Serena whispered, unmoving,“I – I can’t.”

“Shall I?” Serena nodded and Alex opened it up to display a beautiful silver ring embedded with garnets and sapphires.

Serena’s fingers trembled as she picked it up. As she turned it, she caught sight of an engraving on the inside, held it more closely to see what it said.

_For eternity_

Alex’s arms found their way round her shoulders as she sobbed.

“All my fault,” she hiccuped brokenly, between cries, “Should never have let her go.”

“No, no,” Alex pulled her in tightly, rocking her, “Don’t think that. She wouldn’t want you to think that.”

That evening, a quiet crowd gathered in Albie’s. Serena sat with Alex on one side of her and Fleur on the other. The pub had never been quieter. In the end it was Ric who stood up. “To Bernie,” he said, as he raised his glass.

“Bernie,” the others echoed.

* * *

**Five years later**

Serena checked her email again, making sure she had the time and location right. She was intrigued; a surgeon working in a tiny hospital on a Scottish island had contacted her, saying she’d been an admirer of her work and asking whether they could meet. Serena recognised the name; Catherine Smith had had a number of articles published in the BMJ over the last couple of years, although she also had a reputation as a recluse, as she never attended any conferences.

Holby airport was small so Serena found the meeting room that Catherine had booked without problems. She was a little early so she sat down, fished out her laptop and notes she’d written on the topics that Catherine wanted to discuss.

Serena looked up as the door opened and then she fell as the world span.

“Serena, Serena!”

She came to with her head between her knees and a hand rubbing her back reassuringly.

“I’m ok,” she mumbled and the hand retreated as she sat up slowly. “I don’t understand,” she said as she looked at Bernie. “You’re dead.” She pulled out the ring which she wore on a chain round her neck. “You left me this. _You’re dead._ ”

“I had to die to keep you safe,” Bernie said quietly, “Believe me when I say if there had been any other way I would have taken it.”

“I mourned you. Your death nearly broke me.”

“I am so, so sorry,” Bernie reached out a tentative hand to cover Serena’s. “A terrorist organisation had you all on a hit list, because of me. Removing me kept you safe. I heard last month that the organisation has been… eliminated… And I can be me again. See you and my friends and family. I’d understand, I would, if you don’t want me to be around, but I needed you to know that I’m alive.”

“Who’s Catherine? Does she exist?”

“I was given a new identity,” Bernie said, “I wanted to keep doing surgery but I had to stay well away from anybody who might have recognised me. I’ve been hiding in remote Scottish hospitals for five years. A bit different to Nairobi.” A glimmer of a smile crossed her face.

“You’re alive,” Serena whispered after a moment. “You’re really alive.” She traced Bernie’s cheek with gentle fingers and Bernie pressed a kiss to her palm. “Bernie.”

As Bernie pulled her into a hug Serena burst into tears, buried her head into Bernie’s shoulder.

“I want to hate you, for how you’ve made me, all of us feel,” she said as her sobs subsided, “But, oh, Bernie. It’s so good to see you.”

“I love you,” Bernie said as she stroked Serena’s hair, “I never stopped loving you, not in Nairobi, not in Scotland. All I wanted was a chance to see you again.”

“Are you going to move home?”

“If you want me?” Bernie asked hopefully.

“I’ve been without you for long enough,” Serena said and lifted her face to kiss Bernie’s lips softly.

**Author's Note:**

> Bernie and the fandom deserved better.  
> I was going to tag it 'unbury your gays' but that sounded like grave robbing, or, perhaps, necromancy.


End file.
